The Xeno-mesh feels surprisingly good. I had been worried about the subdermals, but the change in design to favor the Xeno-mesh has turned out to be rather nice. I had a long recovery period, and I probably should have checked out footfall a little more before I went in, but done’s done. Still, each time we visit I find myself hoping I may meet Lady Elenora again… but that is perhaps my infatuation speaking.
I was glad that I recovered when I did, we were nearly to the Insanity’s rendezvous point by the time I was out of bed. I hit the medbay for a bit and patched up the rest of it without too much problem. I still feel the burn inside my body, but my skin is growing back, no longer so angry and burned, and falling off of me in patches. I had forgotten what it was like to not have any open wounds on my body… it’s improved my mood after my last log, but not by much.
The Insanity was late in its arrival, and as we gathered for dinner I could feel the tension between myself and Lady Castus. She began to speak to me, and at first I was not very receptive. It felt as though any reasoning she might have would not be sufficient to justify the monstrosity we’d agreed to. She told me about how the Imperium threw away thousands more lives every day, it was simply a fact of life, and she’s correct in saying so… but those men and women died with weapons in hand and honor intact. What we did to those people under the guise of friendship… that held no honor for anyone.
She did little to convince me of the moral worthiness of the act, but she was correct. Right or wrong, it was necessary. I cannot know what conflicts she fought with before making the choice, and perhaps even though she does not show it, some part of her is deeply pained over their fate.
I can do little but accept it for the time being, and there are more pressing concerns at hand.
The Insanity has appeared now, and we are to suit up to enter. I will continue my log upon my return.